Tuesday, December 16, 2025

Let go - 16.08-06.12.2025

The news band on the hospital’s TV in the waiting room read that the International

Space Agency got the means to allow interstellar travel. And they were interviewing

crew members. The possibility ... the rush of curiosity running through, electricity in the

brain. All the stories read, but now they dissipated into the dark, myriads of ideas

flashing up for a second, the same way a meteor leaves behind a light trail against the

black velvet cover of the sky. Where does the next evolution phase lead us into? I was

on the verge to find out, so I signed the papers to begin my training.

Time to save my tears for another day. For now, I merely hoped to hold true to our

childhood promise, reach for the stars. Algol was our meeting place, whenever we

missed each other, but AlHawa will just do. We’ll get to catch the serpent and ask it a

couple of questions. Algol was our star in a demon haunted world. We both liked

mythology and swore an oath to Medusa’s trials.

And I let go as the beauty of Lyra and Cygnus bid another summer hello to my eyes. I

let go as the car reached 150 and the wind in my hair floated to Ennja’s rhythms. I

unbound my consciousness from the seatbelt and jumped from one star to another in a

hopscotch fashion, up there in Corona Borealis, star-hopping they called it.

- „When will you leave?”

- „Soon.”

The pain was too much to hold when forgotten memories punched me in the gut.

I got coins for wishes, but I think Charon was the one who made them true. My coins

weren’t for the full moon as my father taught me, but for an afterlife I often tried to grasp.

What an euphemism to avoid facing, with a cold rational name, the dissolution of matter.

- „Why is it that it’s easy for you to risk your entire life for a technology that was

never tested before at this level? Are you aware of what might happen to you? Of

the crazy amount of time involved in this trip?”

- „It feels easier for me, Ana.” I don’t know why the words choke midway in my

throat whenever I try to bring it up.

- “You know, we might not be here when and if you’ll get back to us.”

- “This is what we’ve dreamt of since we were kids. Our concept of time changed

with Einstein and time…is unforgiving. I know. Heck, I’m not even sure if we

survive the trip, considering that humans have never experienced such high

velocity speeds. Bear with me…”

- “One year for you will be something like seven for us here…or even worse, 20

something if you get to that 0.999c.”


- “I’ve always liked flying", I muttered the words with a sigh, searching for an

answer in the stars above, to comfort her, to calm myself too.

- “If you put it that way” … she smirked, continuing to drive the yellow s2000. She

looked at me with wet eyes, but her smile also gave away that excitement of

doing something that looked irrational to others, that which will get one killed in

the process but the meaning of it will be far greater, an alchemical exchange

needed to happen. “You’ve always been crazy, Arry. Buckle up, we’ve got this

highway to never, you’ll have yours forever.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………..

I still wanted to believe more of me but it seemed like everything faded away into the

gray . . . Would I even be good enough to be selected among the time-travelers? Would

my body be able to endure? It was starting to eat at me slowly, like a never-ending rain

drop. Too much of it now. It took all the space and wouldn’t let me breathe. Weighed

heavily on my shoulders. I did not know how to delay death in order to get where we

promised each other, until something clicked.

- “You just have to aim higher, follow your dreams and apply, you may never

know. Maybe your skills and attitude are exactly what they are looking for. Look, I

was a singer in my youth and travelled all over the world and visited over 20

countries or something, having concerts and all. You could even say I was a

rockstar. But someday, I saw an announcement in the papers saying they were

looking for a manager for crews and programs involving zero-gravity flights,

space events and things of the sort. And guess what? I was qualified. Never lose

your hope. I had the brains, I had the will and there you have it. So keep me

posted, eh? I want to see you up there, young lady. And keep fighting for your

dreams. Aim higher.”

- “Thanks a lot, Christina.” I whispered, almost shyly, my voice trembling, but at the

same time grateful to hear the words I longed for.

- “Don’t mention it, sure. Keep your eyes on the sky. And you know what? I’ll see

you on the moon someday. I’m getting there.”

I met the astronaut wrangler at one of the space events I often used to attend, along

with a couple of other astronauts from Korea and the States. It became one of the

hallmarks on my vision board. I kept their words close to my bed so I could look at them

every night before I dozed off into the dreaming shadows, and I will see them each

morning upon waking. Aim higher, she said. And that’s what I’ll just damn do.

........................................................................................................................................

A new device based on quantum physics and particle acceleration made it

possible. They used it to speed up time. Hermes, they called it and they built it inside


the ship that was to carry us close to Gaia BH1 in Ophiuchus constellation, the closest

black hole to Earth. Each member of the crew selected for the adventure was about to

have a decision in the future of us, 1560 light years away. And I was one of the lucky

star travelers to be on the ship that will take leaps into the future, a future humanity only

dreamt to touch, just a few centuries ago.

We were bound for interstellar travel, ambassadors of the man of the Earth from

the Sol system. A fellowship for the Queen’s Melody was formed, with a bunch of

strange characters. Twelve of us, artists, biologists, engineers, astrophysicists and

pilots, doctors, psychologists, and dwellers in the humanities. Were we going to be just

phantoms of the Old Earth upon our return? The uncertainty of it was screaming and my

chest filled with it. We could not alter the past, but the researchers gave us the chance

to peek at our distant cosmic neighbor and be an active part of our future. And it

looked uncertain at the time. AI was advancing too rapidly for man to re-take its grasp of

it. The spirit in the machine came alive and was about to take the reins for itself.

They told us we’ll have to wear special hand-bands, based on the time

quasicrystals research made in the 21st century. They’ve discovered patterns in time

crystals that kept repeating inside tiny pieces of diamonds. Patterns were everywhere in

nature, look at the Fibonacci sequence in plants, music ... our bodies. . . So.. they

thought of using microwave pulses to direct the spin states of electrons in those tiny

pieces of diamonds, without using energy, to create a non-repeatable oscillation rhythm

in time, a thing that propelled our understanding of time, in relation to quantum

mechanics. They beam it with nitrogen ions to knock out the carbon creating holes in

the atoms called nitrogen vacancy centers and excite them with lasers, and so electrons

are re-arranged in a quasi-periodic system. A time quasi-crystal will monitor our body

changes and identify possible medical issues and conditions that would affect us during

the star travel. That’s part of the reason why we had Hamoud and Leya with us on the

ship, a couple of Earth’s best doctors.

........................................................................................................................................

The day of the launch dawned an orange-pink shade across the horizon. The moon was

close to it, round and imposing, folded in earth shine. Venus and Jupiter to each side of

it, drew a hopeful smile for the bunch of us. It was a beam of light for humanity as a

whole as the frontiers of science and technology were about to be crossed again and

barriers broken down.

As I climbed the stairs toward the shuttle I could feel my temperature rising, but it was a

different nervousness. Something about this was different.

Everything trembled at the moment of ignition, within me and without. But we were

bound for the stars. I closed my eyes. We took off and the earth cried beneath us. Hans


Zimmer’s symphonies played in my mind’s background as the push against gravity

sucked us in our chairs and we became one with the ship. I didn’t feel how fast time

slipped when we reached the Kármán line, ten minutes passed in a second.

- “Gwen, how are we looking?” I went to ask one of our pilots.

- Stable.

She was not a woman of many words. Our entire experience of ourselves and the world

was about to change drastically. We had Leya and Hamoud, experienced scientists with

us who will monitor how time dilation affects our bodies and perception at relativistic

speeds. And moreover, sociologists prepared to analyze and ponder the impact this

adventure has with respect to our stationary observers on Earth, whomever might be

alive and if after this. That is, if we survive the trip. But the stars were calling for me,

louder and louder.

- So, what are we up against?

- Unless you want to go for the cryo beds, prepare for the possibility of collision

with interstellar medium, radiation exposure, long-term isolation and the effects of

extreme acceleration and deceleration, weightlessness’ impact on your body.

And more..

- Well, we’re lucky we have just 47 light-years to figure that out.

- Haven’t you heard?

- Heard what?

- NASA also gave us a prototype machine that will make mass non-existent for

FTL travel. The take is, it hasn’t been tested on a human before. I think only the

captains were informed and the engineer aboard.

- So, what? They’ve just assumed that in absence of a better way we’ll be the first

humans to try it?

- It’s… the only way I’m afraid. We’ll hit a room of mirrors hidden inside the ship

capsule with anti-matter and…

- And hope for the best, yeah.

........................................................................................................................................

We needed to cross 47 light-years to reach Ras Alhawa but thanks to the FTL device,

we were now in warped space, experiencing the wormhole tearing fibers from the

filament, being blinded by the lights as we were drowning in the black of the cosmic,

endless night. Hearing static, voices known and unknown interrupted, cosmic radiation

in the background, now a sonata played, later metal, then silence, then music again,

and silence. On the black moon we travelled onwards, passed over the Pleiades , the

seven sisters, changing present outcomes….

________________________


Our ship got torn apart near a black hole, along with another star that was close by,

triggering a supernovae. Upon waking, I was stupefied to find out they could manipulate

time through hypnosis, a technique involving their eyes.

- “You alright?” his eyes searching left and right, touching just my soul through my

dilated pupils.

- “Y-yeah…”, I whispered, my voice and fingers trembling. “I just…. have this

feeling that you know me, that we are somehow connected... I have this strange

feeling I was pulled here, I think I came looking for you.”

- “You drew me here too, remember? The letter you sent, it said you’ll leave the

door open for me.” He caught my hand and held me close without telling me the

reason. It felt like sunshine on my skin, holding eternity in my hand, embraced in

something resembling the warmth of an afternoon evening on Earth.

____

The return made me feel like a trickster travelling back to the past, a paradoxical

present though. All I knew changed, even though I rushed to send the information right

back to earth. I wanted them to know that it will be alright, I thought I could help, that I

could have an impact. That my journey mattered.

The memo was to keep working, developing, and trusting in the artificial intelligence

they created. It reached them too late, I don’t know why. My crew mates died in the

supernovae explosion. Thanks to whom I met in the suspended space-time, I managed

to survive, they told me to travel back through thought. I did, but the Earth I knew was in

shambles, gray, bored and silent. Everyone went about their day. A poster on the wall

advertising the next election mentioned 1984 as the current year….

Does that mean…?


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