Cherry enigmas - 25.04.2026

 This monster has loved me longer than anyone else

And I don’t know why it stays, and I don’t know what it wants

Perhaps destroy every part that I build on hope

Every part that I try to hold

Close to my heart, but you go….

You’re somewhere far away. And I think then…

There’s something wrong with me

Hesitate to say

And I wonder then, how many sleepless nights till I break

How many warmthless sights till I take

Everything that I pour

And leave one to oneself

Muster the courage to become somebody else.

But I get why you may not want to show, why you

May not allow 

But I see the mourning as you still try to hide

I wonder what future you dream of when you remember the

…Cries…

Crack through the teeth…Abide

And I still wonder why you measure me up to days

Must we be different?

There was a time you felt…

Enthralled.

I still call

Upon the heavens to hear,

All my prayers that you’ll be happy but you still try to disappear

While I want nothing more for myself too, I go..

Do..

Continue to be happy.

You worked at it too.

I wonder what passes through your mind,

If anything,

When you …get to heal too.

Flirting in Greece - 22.03.2026-19.05.2026

 And the Startide is Rising, my eyes fill with wonder

Diving through their clusters I dive in waters, still deep

I seek, the thief of always as you have been, disappointment thunders

Maybe there’s an after if only, you’d slow down as my heart shrinks faster

In a vortex of myths,

I don’t know what to believe

In

Hephaistos tinkering to metal, mechanical take on,

God of fire, you said I might strike a blaze,

Then let your body be the volcano I can melt in, my sight’s a haze

Out of your soul, artisan of weaponry, master of armors

Keep going, I’m slowing down as my heart shrinks faster

Out of my love, palpitations abound while you blast

Past memory on repeat, subwoofer roars, in bottomless pits I sink.

And you still reek of red accents, complaining about invisible ties

Worry not I’ll hide, I’ll focus on my own, as the thunder rolls

While the sky gets grayer, clouds blanket the sky while my sorrow patrols

Lost memories of our souls…at the end of order and chaos

The sight of you still builds cranes for my heart, as Athos

Felt for Mary,

Laughing Scarecrow, prepare to gather the ash of my bones,

I can’t reach you, I failed, I seem to grow weary.

Dear Spring - 13.05.2026

Dear Spring,

In a desert of vermillion waves

Hold my wounds where they hurt most

Plant seeds in the cracks of my bones

And with nettle washing away the sins of my past’s ghost,

Plant seeds of hope, of creed, and cuddle me in hurricanes

As the wind brushes my hair, trapped in the perpetual games

Of life and death, respawn just to end

Leave the past in the frozen gaze of the spring

While we weep,

The loss of winter slumber, of the hearth heat.

And if we look long enough at the stars we’ll see

The stories sky tells each night, painting cosmic reverie

Before our eyes, and Artemis runs again, goddess of the moon,

Sprinkling grains of need,

Taking a leap

Toward the unbound

Blackness of the sky, her bow playing the meadow’s string, attuned

To the bees’ murmur.

Listen, she whispers all that is allowed,

And hearing her I vowed,

And signed an oath in pure virgin blood,

The blood of the trees’ sap,

Calling on Persephone to wake up

From the underworld, return from Hades, and grace us all.

So, she heard us and started a flood,

For several days rain might abound

But the tulips yet again spring forth,

Calling on the sparrows, as they sing aloud

Running from Artemis’ arrows chasing down the cold,

And in the sunlit meadow, Kittens stretch on,

Yawning and frowning, to their mothers they run meowing,

Mountains echo

The revving sound of the engines, as they speed to

Vibrant green patches bursting from snow

And I’m getting to know how a mind like Poe’s

Would bid his hello

To the ravens of Nevermore,

To the midday sun’s halo,

Although his mind was in a casket held,

Captured by eternal autumnal chains

Frozen, abed, the work of a winter’s morgue explains,

Detective labor on duty, fighting existential pains.

 

Ms. Survival got on strike - 11/16.03.2026

I kept on eating, eating for dear life

Like I depended on it, survival was on strike

I kept on eating, I didn't like myself 

My body tried to tell me I was becoming somebody else. 

I kept on eating, feeling restless at heart. 

Ask myself "what's going on? why are we mad?"

And still I kept on eating, 

Soul must've been hungry for more

I should send s.o.s. signals more often 

To check in with my core. 

Q(s) to go - 11.03.2026

Would I wanna go knowing all that I know?

Would I keep trying to build "a dream to-go"?

Would I keep dancing to the rhythms that my heart forego?

Would I keep chanting your hymns alone?

Or do you want an altered life,

Achieve your dreams and call it strife?

I wish I had the confidence you've shown 

In things pertaining to matters untold, 

Unknown to my future, yet we keep holding on 

With whom are we battling? Is it the ego,

Or is just the armor you like to put on?

For protection... I know.

S(c)old her - 11/16.03.2026

 How will I write in 10 years time

I wouldn't know for sure as moments go by 

Our bones grow weary, souls should steady 

Although they murmur sometimes

Disclosing hints through your eyes

Disappointment in your glance, 

Afraid to hurt, I took a defense stance

Yet you held my vulnerability.

Do your hands still shake or are you with me?

Through my sun-orange to funeral-black

Are you grieving too? I know I hate my lack.

The missing parts I'm still learning to love 

The broken sights that dream for just a bit more

Tho' I admit it sometimes feels I'm suffocating on a shore

Will you be just a passive chapter in the lore?

Will you fight and just hold on?

Learning to live with a stranger, whom I don't really know

She lets me ...in sometimes, she lets me borrow

A brief look at a future of us

I don't understand why they're afraid to show... 

Believe, or maybe even "love" ...

Are you really here?

Or am I your method to live your escape, indulge in your vertigo?

I know you lived my madness, I tried to keep on, cling on 

To hope

Hope that I'll be able to face my challenges head on 

Hope to be called a doctor

SF or a myth to live for...

Or die trying to ride my ride

And keep my head above high tide. 

Zephyr - 11.03.2026

Hai vântule, suflă-mi pe rană

Vântule rece, cu miros de iarnă

Îmi pari ca năluca jucând hore 

în păduri, de iele cutreierate

Mi-ai dat o noapte, 

Zile ce-au înghețat

Timpul cedat

Și te-am ales și-am ignorat

Că zborul tău părea dus în neant

Pentru cineva mai înalt. 

Spune-i vântule, prinde-mă atunci când cad

Spune-i vântule cât a durut și în ce iad

Cât s-a pierdut din timp din noi, cât am să uit 

Spune-i vântule când reflexiile noastre-n cioburi de suflete s-au spart

Ia-mi cuvintele mele și coase-i așternut de speranțe din ele

Ia-mi visele și acoperă-i vina

Ia-mi vântule lacrimile și du-le în inimi de dor secate

Ia-mi, în cele din urmă inima, 

Ia-mi mâinile, du-te la spate, cum le-am simțit legate. 

Rămâi cu mine când încă e soare

Plimbă-ți șoapta pe umerii mei, suflu prin păr răzvrătit

Rămâi cu mine în vidul meu din noapte

Și poartă-mă să pot s-ating stele departe. 

Să pot să m-aprind din nebuloase colorate, 

Să fie singurele ce pot să țină regrete blocate, 

Transformate, să zboare precum cornetele din calea de lapte. 

Rămâi cu mine vântule, să facem căi printre fapte 

Să-mi oferi claritate, 

Când stelele se sting, se pierd în goluri-ntunecate

Să-mi faci din meteori cercei de nestemate. 

Studying - 22.02.2026

 Any death is a crime against consciousness.

Am I strong enough to take the universe to task for it?

Am I soft enough to stand your dominance?

In a hall of mirrors of which version would you let go? Want to go toward it,

When a thousand half-loves must be forsaken,

To take one, whole-heart, home and the will in yourself to be betaken?

 

I’ll draw the fate of you into my hands and write my will across the sky

I’ll mythologize constellations after you, after leaving you exhausted by

The moments inside of me as synesthesia abounds, my whole body flamed

Desire takes over, fire and flames, heart untamed

When you are not here, time becomes slower and bends

As I’m the prisoner of you outside of me, my soul transcends...

Too much time I wasted, making this life, too late

Breaking now into my fate, amor fati I make

Underneath your skin I shall find what is hidden within

As you’re allowed to look where you always wanted to, I lead you in

As the night will get cold, our time will slow

Again yet as you remember me, there… low..

Coiling after hums that grow,

Protected under stars which on the darkest black show their glow.

 

You came running, stealing my heaven above

Rewinding, my stars got enhanced, but something was holding you back

Now I’m alone.

Did you find what you were looking for? Or do I go back to black.

 

Come home, listen to the music, don’t judge the sounds

As you hear, soon you will find our worlds will come together

And all you’re doing is watching it unfold, screams, moans of wins at the threshold

Begin, by listening … the boons and happiness by gods of old foretold

Have me - 22.02.2026

 In this dark time you hold my heart, still I treat you like a godsend

Could you take my hand, hold it close? Until the end?

Could you take my pain or should I be reborn, to alter

This life so far I failed,

To Live again, to take the blood of innocents on the altar

Of dementia. Babe? Could you take my hand? I promise I’ll forget the slaughter

That you still called her.

Familiar soothing scents make a vortex around me, you smell as only art could

As only I could tell..., as I feel in the eye of the storm, where the calm gets you to godhood

Too bad I’m so obvious, as only a dog’s love could show you, I dared...

Too bad some are oblivious to the grey on my shoulders I bear

Babe? Could you take my pain?

Forgive my kisses, I could not abstain

It was your wish, the wish you were afraid of,

I was brave enough to upheld

True, I dement it again ...

When I cried - 13.02.2026

 

So .... 

 I finally get to meet the reaper in me, who sealed the fate

Fire and blood in a hellstorm, chasing after clarity at the cosmic gate

Gone at a whim, the whiff of it disappearing, never real, an apparition to steal

My hopes away, now I get to get dirty with reality itself, enjoying my blood meal.

 So, I finally get to meet her, meet the reaper

Dancing with the devil under pale moonlight, the wounds go deeper

Than everyone cares to see, a hell underneath us,

It’s where I find my self, trying to burry her, so I can keep her

Focused, she got it I know, you saw it too, the death seeks her

Treacherous dreamer, born anew out of cadaverous worms, eager

To leech on the rotten corpse beneath through all of these creepers

Leeching in, reader, you’ll need her, but learn how to get used with cheaper,

Thought you could cheat on

I’m tired of being here, being fed up with, but let’s agree on

The neon grave that looms above, all of me

Lingering while you captivate me still, with the us left behind

With once-pleasant dreams, with all the sanity in me …now declined

And I am still confined to vanilla haptic, amber redefined

My blood to yours still consigned.

Still all of me, enshrined to all your looks

The bloody glance you threw at me last time,

You saw me upset, but you never saw beneath…my smile's hooks...

that only in your presence, as a woman, I felt divined.

Apparitions - 09.02.2026

 No matter what I do, these scars are here to stay

These scars will never fade, make trouble in paradise

You are free to go, to live as you’d like

Your days

Make the most of the burning tides,

We never know when it’s the last time.

 

Somewhere in the past, between you and I, my dear

Happy shall remain to those days, no matter what you do

No matter what frontier

These wars will never leave, we’ll only share this earthly sphere

Follow through everything

I’ll let you go, beyond the grave, above a tomb a broken wing

A wing of black, of raven old

Wise bird who may have foretold, or will now

The cremation of my bones, buried won’t I ever be

I don’t think I have the choice, you see…

Be, just one chapter in the book of your life

Warm and sweet, made a home’s delight

Once, now apparitions live around me

Ghosts, they whisper stay still, I hope you sleep profoundly

I hope you are well, my nightmares are drowning

They whisper in my ear

Daily, you and I, my dear, Saturnian tattoo is near

It remains with me to this day

No matter how long I pray, these scars will never fade.

But you don’t want me so I bade

Farewell to phosphorescence, farewell to see you

Now, no one tells me where I go, retreat to

I’ll dive in crystal waters, past of oceans

While everyone tells me to breathe, I just go through the motions

Breathless gaps, flashbacks of images, patient violence I bear

Grow back your sharpest teeth, jaws smitten me…beyond repair

It was all that I wore

My desire, maybe next time, garments of a wartime

 You’ll take me back to Eden, take me back to starlight.

I ramble - 08.02.2026

 Memories dawn. Worried, you are, ... that only the bad remained. 

Looking for the good, but the good you ever felt, 

does it really linger with you?

 Do you still remember it for what it was apart from the aesthetics?

Did it ever occur to you that I can hold both divergent opinions and the amount of human complexity, both dark and good at the same time? Darkness is needed to see the stars, nebulae, darkness is the permanent state of our world, outside the earthly illusion that is day. I met you in the dark, many summer nights ago. Once my hair turned black.

 

I know you can still see, how I ever longed to be yours.

How I ever longed to not go blindly into an unknown universe.

I hold your hand for a while.

I was aware the sun would be too bright,

burn way too much to get close.

Yet I wonder if you ever saw the courage behind the leap? ...Now I only see the noose

I have waited, paralyzed by my own will.

You gave me hope, I took heed, now I only have the quill

Do you like that? Alone, on my own, fighting still

For the dream I had, you helped me recover

Driving at high speed, freedom in need

And it shall never be the same, out of a warm sun only dust remains

Later to be photographed, write She loved me on my epitaph

But you know, I asked of you to burn my body, spread my ashes

While driving

Toward ever more heights, I haven’t lost the dream I had

Made together with you, only now I will move toward it, mad

Single-player mode, you’ll see I will, lad

Even though I know

You won’t ever want to come back

No pressure in sight, I only want you to be your own feedback.

I’m still full of the love you want. I will go on, single track

Marrying air to water, the hurricane in me…

Fracturing my existence to the rhythm of insanity

At the border of humanity, reaching touch with who I am again

Only screaming silently, for now this will just do, this reality

Keep smiling, your picture is still close, close to my heart reminding to be free…

Even if hourly I go under, losing breath in the deep-sea

Are you still reading? Mad at me?

You gave me the road, the power to be like thee

A feeling of old, hoping to loved

Don’t you worry,

It was not all bad.

You’ve shown … how to protect myself, armor-clad

Don’t you worry, I know you’ll be alright,

To me you will remain, something apart from finite …

Far from…But…to you …was I just only a brief moment at midnight?

3-2-1 - 08.02.2026

I got time, time to learn the constellations that broke me

I got time, time to undo the deluge you carelessly spilled

I got time, time to break into eons the fire, gather the sea

I got time, time to unforgive every deed that you did.

Yours ran out, remembering only sour lines

Of all the angels I asked to be by your side

While you lied and lied...took days off to see her

Yet... in pain alone you let me abide, shivered...

Denied a child, changed your mind, wanting something else,

It’s alright now though, go find other cells.

De vorbă cu nimicul - 29.01.2026

 

Și o să mă doară, de fiecare dată când mă uit la ele,

Sus, în cosmos, la galaxiile și nebuloasele mele

Și o să mă doară de fiecare dată când te caut,

Încă te mai caut printre ele.

Într-o vară ai venit, ai vrut să stai, dar te-ai oprit

Singur, ai fugit, rătăcind pentru nimic.

Dar…s-au nimicit speranțele-n mine, visuri create din fir de ape

Descântate de vocile line, dispărute cum dispar șiroaie de nisip

Printre degete, răspândite, alungate de vânt în noapte.

Șuierând șoapte, imagini care n-au să mai fie, așa cum au fost

Așa cum povestea Sheherezadei curgea să rămână vie

Pentru încă o zi, narațiunea mea nu va mai scrie,

Așa cum se cutremură pământul, toate au un cost

Din țipete surde a amuțit,

Tu te uiți mai departe, în mine se înfige câte un cuțit

În fiecare secundă, un minut întețit

Și știu că au să surâdă, că o să fie fericit

Viața-ntr-o clipă am s-o-ncheg

S-o pierd, să nu mai simt nimic.

Missing - .01.2026

I still see how you smile at times

Wondering what's hidden, what lies

You wear, what sights those hazel eyes

Bear, the same sweet scented lips that smear

My neck again as you dive another bite

I know I love you, I see your ticks

How you concentrate, how you breathe 

And yet you run away, please don't leave

You don't want me to watch

You, don't want me to be 

You aim for what you want, clutch

king every night, take aim, defend the site 

The lines took another route, they were supposed to talk about your might

But I still feel afraid, I wonder ...what's wrong 

Is it avoidance I feel? 

Feeling of a dream when you're with me 

But I'm afraid to wake up.

Why am I scared to stand up....

Even though you changed your mind, 

I wonder still of a future we 

Surreal feeling when you want me 

But how can I want me back?

How can I give to myself what you offer me, 

And balance how I love you

To not consume the hope in me 

To still believe in something we hoped both to be 

I feel I lost my craft along with the reality of you

Do I bore you, do you see me too?

Wish we could share the roads again

Together watch the sky, gleefully catch constellations

On the background of your rhythms 

I peak through the crenellations

Of your castle while I train my patience

Chained by those denied freedoms.