Sunday, February 8, 2026

I ramble - 08.02.2026

 Memories dawn. Worried, you are, ... that only the bad remained. 

Looking for the good, but the good you ever felt, 

does it really linger with you?

 Do you still remember it for what it was apart from the aesthetics?

Did it ever occur to you that I can hold both divergent opinions and the amount of human complexity, both dark and good at the same time? Darkness is needed to see the stars, nebulae, darkness is the permanent state of our world, outside the earthly illusion that is day. I met you in the dark, many summer nights ago. Once my hair turned black.

 

I know you can still see, how I ever longed to be yours.

How I ever longed to not go blindly into an unknown universe.

I hold your hand for a while.

I was aware the sun would be too bright,

burn way too much to get close.

Yet I wonder if you ever saw the courage behind the leap? ...Now I only see the noose

I have waited, paralyzed by my own will.

You gave me hope, I took heed, now I only have the quill

Do you like that? Alone, on my own, fighting still

For the dream I had, you helped me recover

Driving at high speed, freedom in need

And it shall never be the same, out of a warm sun only dust remains

Later to be photographed, write She loved me on my epitaph

But you know, I asked of you to burn my body, spread my ashes

While driving

Toward ever more heights, I haven’t lost the dream I had

Made together with you, only now I will move toward it, mad

Single-player mode, you’ll see I will, lad

Even though I know

You won’t ever want to come back

No pressure in sight, I only want you to be your own feedback.

I’m still full of the love you want. I will go on, single track

Marrying air to water, the hurricane in me…

Fracturing my existence to the rhythm of insanity

At the border of humanity, reaching touch with who I am again

Only screaming silently, for now this will just do, this reality

Keep smiling, your picture is still close, close to my heart reminding to be free…

Even if hourly I go under, losing breath in the deep-sea

Are you still reading? Mad at me?

You gave me the road, the power to be like thee

A feeling of old, hoping to loved

Don’t you worry,

It was not all bad.

You’ve shown … how to protect myself, armor-clad

Don’t you worry, I know you’ll be alright,

To me you will remain, something apart from finite …

Far from…But…to you …was I just only a brief moment at midnight?

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