Sunday, February 22, 2026

Studying - 22.02.2026

 Any death is a crime against consciousness.

Am I strong enough to take the universe to task for it?

Am I soft enough to stand your dominance?

In a hall of mirrors of which version would you let go? Want to go toward it,

When a thousand half-loves must be forsaken,

To take one, whole-heart, home and the will in yourself to be betaken?

 

I’ll draw the fate of you into my hands and write my will across the sky

I’ll mythologize constellations after you, after leaving you exhausted by

The moments inside of me as synesthesia abounds, my whole body flamed



Desire takes over, fire and flames, heart untamed

When you are not here, time becomes slower and bends

As I’m the prisoner of you outside of me, my soul transcends...

Too much time I wasted, making this life, too late

Breaking now into my fate, amor fati I make

Underneath your skin I shall find what is hidden within

As you’re allowed to look where you always wanted to, I lead you in

As the night will get cold, our time will slow

Again yet as you remember me, there… low..

Coiling after hums that grow,

Protected under stars which on the darkest black show their glow.

 

You came running, stealing my heaven above

Rewinding, my stars got enhanced, but something was holding you back

Now I’m alone.

Did you find what you were looking for? Or do I go back to black.

 

Come home, listen to the music, don’t judge the sounds

As you hear, soon you will find our worlds will come together

And all you’re doing is watching it unfold, screams, moans of wins at the threshold

Begin, by listening … the boons and happiness by gods of old foretold

Have me - 22.02.2026

 In this dark time you hold my heart, still I treat you like a godsend

Could you take my hand, hold it close? Until the end?

Could you take my pain or should I be reborn, to alter

This life so far I failed,

To Live again, to take the blood of innocents on the altar

Of dementia. Babe? Could you take my hand? I promise I’ll forget the slaughter

That you still called her.

Familiar soothing scents make a vortex around me, you smell as only art could

As only I could tell..., as I feel in the eye of the storm, where the calm gets you to godhood

Too bad I’m so obvious, as only a dog’s love could show you, I dared...


Too bad some are oblivious to the grey on my shoulders I bear

Babe? Could you take my pain?

Forgive my kisses, I could not abstain

It was your wish, the wish you were afraid of,

I was brave enough to upheld

True, I dement it again ...

Friday, February 13, 2026

When I cried - 13.02.2026

 


So .... 

 I finally get to meet the reaper in me, who sealed the fate

Fire and blood in a hellstorm, chasing after clarity at the cosmic gate

Gone at a whim, the whiff of it disappearing, never real, an apparition to steal

My hopes away, now I get to get dirty with reality itself, enjoying my blood meal.

 So, I finally get to meet her, meet the reaper

Dancing with the devil under pale moonlight, the wounds go deeper

Than everyone cares to see, a hell underneath us,

It’s where I find my self, trying to burry her, so I can keep her

Focused, she got it I know, you saw it too, the death seeks her

Treacherous dreamer, born anew out of cadaverous worms, eager

To leech on the rotten corpse beneath through all of these creepers

Leeching in, reader, you’ll need her, but learn how to get used with cheaper,

Thought you could cheat on

I’m tired of being here, being fed up with, but let’s agree on

The neon grave that looms above, all of me

Lingering while you captivate me still, with the us left behind

With once-pleasant dreams, with all the sanity in me …now declined

And I am still confined to vanilla haptic, amber redefined

My blood to yours still consigned.

Still all of me, enshrined to all your looks

The bloody glance you threw at me last time,

You saw me upset, but you never saw beneath…my smile's hooks...

that only in your presence, as a woman, I felt divined.

Monday, February 9, 2026

Apparitions - 09.02.2026

 No matter what I do, these scars are here to stay

These scars will never fade, make trouble in paradise

You are free to go, to live as you’d like

Your days

Make the most of the burning tides,

We never know when it’s the last time.

 

Somewhere in the past, between you and I, my dear

Happy shall remain to those days, no matter what you do

No matter what frontier

These wars will never leave, we’ll only share this earthly sphere

Follow through everything

I’ll let you go, beyond the grave, above a tomb a broken wing

A wing of black, of raven old

Wise bird who may have foretold, or will now

The cremation of my bones, buried won’t I ever be



I don’t think I have the choice, you see…

Be, just one chapter in the book of your life

Warm and sweet, made a home’s delight

Once, now apparitions live around me

Ghosts, they whisper stay still, I hope you sleep profoundly

I hope you are well, my nightmares are drowning

They whisper in my ear

Daily, you and I, my dear, Saturnian tattoo is near

It remains with me to this day

No matter how long I pray, these scars will never fade.

But you don’t want me so I bade

Farewell to phosphorescence, farewell to see you

Now, no one tells me where I go, retreat to

I’ll dive in crystal waters, past of oceans

While everyone tells me to breathe, I just go through the motions

Breathless gaps, flashbacks of images, patient violence I bear

Grow back your sharpest teeth, jaws smitten me…beyond repair

It was all that I wore

My desire, maybe next time, garments of a wartime

 You’ll take me back to Eden, take me back to starlight.

Sunday, February 8, 2026

I ramble - 08.02.2026

 Memories dawn. Worried, you are, ... that only the bad remained. 

Looking for the good, but the good you ever felt, 

does it really linger with you?

 Do you still remember it for what it was apart from the aesthetics?

Did it ever occur to you that I can hold both divergent opinions and the amount of human complexity, both dark and good at the same time? Darkness is needed to see the stars, nebulae, darkness is the permanent state of our world, outside the earthly illusion that is day. I met you in the dark, many summer nights ago. Once my hair turned black.

 


I know you can still see, how I ever longed to be yours.

How I ever longed to not go blindly into an unknown universe.

I hold your hand for a while.

I was aware the sun would be too bright,

burn way too much to get close.

Yet I wonder if you ever saw the courage behind the leap? ...Now I only see the noose

I have waited, paralyzed by my own will.

You gave me hope, I took heed, now I only have the quill

Do you like that? Alone, on my own, fighting still

For the dream I had, you helped me recover

Driving at high speed, freedom in need

And it shall never be the same, out of a warm sun only dust remains

Later to be photographed, write She loved me on my epitaph

But you know, I asked of you to burn my body, spread my ashes

While driving

Toward ever more heights, I haven’t lost the dream I had

Made together with you, only now I will move toward it, mad

Single-player mode, you’ll see I will, lad

Even though I know

You won’t ever want to come back

No pressure in sight, I only want you to be your own feedback.

I’m still full of the love you want. I will go on, single track

Marrying air to water, the hurricane in me…

Fracturing my existence to the rhythm of insanity

At the border of humanity, reaching touch with who I am again

Only screaming silently, for now this will just do, this reality

Keep smiling, your picture is still close, close to my heart reminding to be free…

Even if hourly I go under, losing breath in the deep-sea

Are you still reading? Mad at me?

You gave me the road, the power to be like thee

A feeling of old, hoping to loved

Don’t you worry,

It was not all bad.

You’ve shown … how to protect myself, armor-clad

Don’t you worry, I know you’ll be alright,

To me you will remain, something apart from finite …

Far from…But…to you …was I just only a brief moment at midnight?

3-2-1 - 08.02.2026

I got time, time to learn the constellations that broke me

I got time, time to undo the deluge you carelessly spilled

I got time, time to break into eons the fire, gather the sea

I got time, time to unforgive every deed that you did.


Yours ran out, remembering only sour lines

Of all the angels I asked to be by your side

While you lied and lied...took days off to see her

Yet... in pain alone you let me abide, shivered...

Denied a child, changed your mind, wanting something else,

It’s alright now though, go find other cells.

Thursday, January 29, 2026

De vorbă cu nimicul - 29.01.2026

 

Și o să mă doară, de fiecare dată când mă uit la ele,

Sus, în cosmos, la galaxiile și nebuloasele mele

Și o să mă doară de fiecare dată când te caut,

Încă te mai caut printre ele.

Într-o vară ai venit, ai vrut să stai, dar te-ai oprit

Singur, ai fugit, rătăcind pentru nimic.

Dar…s-au nimicit speranțele-n mine, visuri create din fir de ape

Descântate de vocile line, dispărute cum dispar șiroaie de nisip

Printre degete, răspândite, alungate de vânt în noapte.

Șuierând șoapte, imagini care n-au să mai fie, așa cum au fost

Așa cum povestea Sheherezadei curgea să rămână vie

Pentru încă o zi, narațiunea mea nu va mai scrie,

Așa cum se cutremură pământul, toate au un cost

Din țipete surde a amuțit,

Tu te uiți mai departe, în mine se înfige câte un cuțit

În fiecare secundă, un minut întețit

Și știu că au să surâdă, că o să fie fericit

Viața-ntr-o clipă am s-o-ncheg

S-o pierd, să nu mai simt nimic.

Saturday, January 17, 2026

Missing - .01.2026

 I still see how you smile at times

Wondering what's hidden, what lies

You wear, what sights those hazel eyes

Bear, the same sweet scented lips that smear

My neck again as you dive another bite

I know I love you, I see your ticks

How you concentrate, how you breathe 

And yet you run away, please don't leave

You don't want me to watch

You, don't want me to be 

You aim for what you want, clutch

king every night, take aim, defend the site 

The lines took another route, they were supposed to talk about your might

But I still feel afraid, I wonder ...what's wrong 

Is it avoidance I feel? 

Feeling of a dream when you're with me 

But I'm afraid to wake up.

Why am I scared to stand up....

Even though you changed your mind, 

I wonder still of a future we 

Surreal feeling when you want me 

But how can I want me back?

How can I give to myself what you offer me, 

And balance how I love you

To not consume the hope in me 

To still believe in something we hoped both to be 

I feel I lost my craft along with the reality of you

Do I bore you, do you see me too?

Wish we could share the roads again

Together watch the sky, gleefully catch constellations

On the background of your rhythms 

I peak through the crenellations

Of your castle while I train my patience

Chained by those denied freedoms.