In the space we never got to make
I got too close to hearts of steel
I fooled myself, my mind’s at stake
Divorcing it from what I feel
In worlds of techno all go by,
All cold, all distant, forgetting our “why”
Wearing but masks, faces we borrow
Only to hide deeper to protect our sorrows.
In the spaces we never got to feel
I’ll fill the void with melodies
In the empty benches, time stood still
Age-layered lady, weaving apologies
Starting a thread,
tethered to a bed
The kind that gives comfort when things seem to end.
The kind that succumbs to your will
When you pretend, that they’ll understand.
But the shrill of disappointment is screaming still
Cruel, sadistic bitch you think of me
But you see, you never got to ask.
It doesn’t matter, does it?
When the pain is all that one sees
If this is how you care, then sure, blame me
I learned how to live , go on …when many left
Me to myself, numbered times,
Yet what I gave, I gave of love
Maybe more than I should ever
Be allowed to keep.
You found a new victim to blame
Is it ever you?
Will you stop to bend?
It was your will
Still
Going, knowing why
On a damaged mind,
Heart torn, I was a whim,
A new thing, why promise and fault me when you did not want
to commit to anything?
I did not force you.
How could I be?
Cruel, sadistic, bitch
Happy namesday to me.
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