Dreams of a blue horizon - June 2022

 

The night dawned, the sky was still

Stars were singing to your will

And soon I felt the wind against

My cheek as you kissed my hand.

Why is the rum gone? - 14.02.2022

 Let's be 

A moving sea

Beyond our shores

A reverie 

Playful with waves

Touched by the sun

Steal pirates' rum

Get drunk with the moon

And bloom darling doom

Enchanted by chaos

Doth my heart moves

Keep your eyes open

When I make a move

I coil you shiver

Touch-starved I wither

Come back, please find me

Water me, have me. 

Run me like a river - 29.10.2021

 I'll ask you to my funeral 

Ye who long proclaimed to love

Like no other and forever though 

In vain was thus thy promise

When I took you to the sky 

Lured by all the other verses

Of the lovers long gone by.

You packed your love, withdrew apart

Rivers of tears, pain turned my hair dark

Mechanic brain, an absent heart

I'll count my days till the last part

Forever and always, mere words in the wind

The dust will proclaim me, as I proclaim thee 

But no more of begging, pleading to see

And feel the warmth promised, blanket of reverie.

Blow a wish - 27.10.2021

I lost my father to the sky, to the unknown

Worlds of souls gone-by, still I mourn

In grief, despair I sought a ray of hope

There's none to find. Every one's cruel

Every one's blind. I feel lost, father ...

I have no shield no more, I falter

When they look me in the eye

Crossing boundaries, white lies...

I have a death wish, I want to go

Tear the fabric apart, lay low

Under ground to my roots

To the soil, in the winds

Come take me fire, thrown into the sea

My ashes to dust, still I beg thee

My mind to spare, peace given, glee, 

Throw the dagger deeper still...

Pick up the quill, mix my ashes 

With black ink as the lightning flashes, 

Write poems with me and stories

Sir, tell the world of the glories, 

The lore and of victories we had above

Eons ago, with the stars we were born 

Fighting darkness with photons alone 

Energy amass in bodies of cosmic delight

Do not give in to fright, I have not left

This earth just yet, I will still haunt you

Everywhere that we went. 

Eternal Return - 18.08.2021

It was not enough, not warmth, nor joy;

Not enough for a four year old 

To escape from the gift of Troy

No time to run, as past foretold

Disguised under knowledge

Her innocence sold

For a moment of learning, garbage

Smells like a beautiful rose in a bed 

Of silk, every flashback returned red

Blood fills the sheets and she dreads

Still the touch of a promised heaven 

Of peace and safety, instead he spreads

Little legs, but she pleading, begging

For help and protection, the devil

Instead wished her for itself

For the unknown strains of destiny 

Foretell perpetual vortex and compel

The little girl to hide until her feet bled,

Until her shout cried for someone to hear,

A pleading to stop the time for a while, 

So here, abandoned again, breathlessly 

I fear, I scream in pain for you hurt her 

Carefully this time, the same words

Knives alike move in a blur to scratch

Records in the book of life, alone in world 

I'd rather detach from a heartbeat 

And sing lullabies for the little one

To fall asleep to, in a clean sheet.

Să trăiești

 Încă un an, încă un vis cu nestemate țesut,

Pierdut iar, îmi fug ochii peste apusul mut

Culorile fără tine nu mai vorbesc, pictează reci

Răsărituri de soare, departe înghețat le petreci

Și te-ntristezi când vezi că toți judecă fără oglindă

Aceeași poveste, încă trei ore peste cortină

Mai bine ceri o morfină, închizi ochii respiri

Încă o zi, încă o vină, cât o s-o mai țină?

Dar conștiința nu doarme, sămânța divină răsare

În tine din nou, cu fiecare vis visat, coșmar uitat

În război cu ego-ul ai câștigat, ridică-ți capul plecat.

Privește norii din ochiul furtunii și aprinde zorii 

Ridică focurile sacre, dezgleagă-ți mâinile tandre

Și repară ființa primară, copilul de odinioară

Ascultă-l, lasă-l liber să fie iubit, și-l voi fi călăuzit

Cu lumini arzând în stele, și cascadele să-i spele

Patimile, nevinovat de cuminte a scris paginile

Unui alt veac de singurătate într-o minte bruscată

De convenții, o viață pretinsă într-o cruciadă,

Dar scopul e al tău? Închină paharul, hai uită de greu

Din cenușă răsari, așa cum te știu, nu cum vrei să pari. 

Și în loc de sfârșit, amintește-ți cât ai râvnit 

Perpetuu, mereu aievea să întâlnești 

Ceea ce ai nevoie să continui să trăiești 

Căci întunericul tot din lumină apare

Iar de ascuns, karma nu lasă loc de iertare

Doar dacă, de tine îți amintești, și te înalți

Așa cum te-am învățat să te descalți 

Înainte de a păși pe iarbă, ființă dragă,

Să te îndrepți spre tine, spre monadele eterne 

În tihnă, bucură-te de tine, fi regele 

Palatului tău, și trăiește 

Atâta timp cât universul îți zâmbește. 

Ușor ... - 19.07.2020

 Așa rău s-a supărat cerul de dorul tău ?

În singuratate nu ești unul, ai soarele greu

Cu raze calde în ochi, cu fulgerul am plecat

În nori, deasupra lor să cântăm tunetul încruntat

Stropi de durere în ploaia rece reîncarnați

Vor stinge în timp dezamăgirea când dezbrăcați

De iluzii și lanturi false vom fi, împreunați mai vii

Decât furtunile pe mare, să fim din nou copii

Râzând de luna plină, alergând prin iarbă

Desculți, prinși de mână, funia cosmică ne leagă

Respiră adânc lumină dragă, frică nu-ți fie

O să fie bine oricum s-ar întampla, acum adie

Vântul cu tristețea ta, dar vom visa mai colorat

De acum, hai liniștește cerul, noi vom porni la drum

Pe tempo-ul ritmat, din muzica sufletelor veșnice adun

Pietre de temelii din trecut și surâsul tău cald

Vom construi acel regat, ridică-ți capul plecat

Și viața trăiește-o așa cum ești de-a pururi iubit

Dă-ți timp să simți ce sinele te-ndeamnă demult adormit

Hai, liniștește cerul, aproape de inimă te țin

Amintește-ți de tine, de sufletul divin.

Unless 04.06.2020

Don't dare, don't get close to the truth
Don't try to touch it or else collapse,
And take the curse to your vein otherwise
You messed with magic, try again brute
Treat it like the mundane you grew in too,
For that's a trap the blind fall into.

Don't dare bring the matter in question
Don't eye the blinding sun looking for insertion
For what lurks in the unseen burns harsher
Than the surface of the stars, as you watch her
Stand still on the cliff waking the oceans
To crush worlds into oblivion and renew notions
Of wholeness in doom. Don't look, don't speak
Unless it's salvation you dyingly seek.

Eclipse 04.06.2020

It is not randomly that June drew it to infinite,
Not coincidence that brought it further to meet
Matter and energy in a glimpse of eternity
Soul captured in a handful of dust and clarity
Painted for the eyes to see the raw reality.

But now it turned to the ghost in the shell
Enable auto-pilot and play the game well
Moving the limbs stretched according to
The music of the strings colored in blue
Shades of gloom, that break the sky
Along with the mind that crashes, why
You? To bring life forth in this hell
Perpetual torture that binds existence in a well,
Vortex of scenes, mental wars spinning
Atoms of grief. But still breathe, being!
Toxic air till the scythe fills the gap
With a final blow and accept the long sought collapse
Into nirvana where nothing dwells,
No pain, no joy to sound once more the cruel bells
Of actuality, don't run away from the gravity
That caught unguarded that chest cavity,
That hole never complete, until June gifted
You the chance to see the truth and lifted
On high planes your calm, bliss, and existence. 

Yin Yang - 31.05.2020

I'm there, you know?
Up with the wind.
I'm there with the sun
Where sorrow does not reach
I see you through the green of all leaves
I'm there, you know?
Embraced by bliss.

I'm there where the sky drips with joy
In the lightning that strikes and toys
I break my voice in unison with the thunders
And with the clouds once more we shatter
Bitter moments, agonies, as with the rain
We wash away our souls cursed with pain
I'm there you know? Where all fears cease
Where duality ends and pleasure begins. 

Be good 14.05.2020

Forgive the words thus uttered
Forgive the malice when I falter
To hold on, when insecurities swarm
My mind and I fail to capture
Your hand on the cliff, rapture
When you return even for a brief
Moment, make me sing and retrieve
The sweet memories back on track,
As I see you in everything but I lack
A little strength here and there,
A little faith, but I swear
In your eyes there's freedom itself
And your childish laughter my help,
The lighthouse at the edge of a cliff
When myself I'm a storm, a hieroglyph
That you've learnt to decode
Despite the armored shields, you bestowed
Tranquility with a smile, so I strive
At least to follow behind
In your footsteps dear one,
Shelter me, I'll hold your arm
And for you I'll bleed into battle
Every peril in sight I will shatter,
Protect you, by your side when you need
Someone to listen, love, you exist inside spring
Through all the seasons we'll meet
Again and again, lightning and thunder,
A tree and an evergreen leaf, I wonder
If you still believe in all that was felt,
If you'll crash into me like a comet
Into the Asteroid belt
Between Jupiter and Mars,
Hold my hand and I'll walk you through the stars
While on Earth they will recall our memoirs,
But until then I'll embrace you in the summer wind
Feel your warmth, in the colors of the spring
Your face I hold dear and a last tear I weep
For the malice I've shown, aloof on the shore keep
Under the blanket you've covered me with.

Once upon a time 8.05.2020

She held you clumsily on a rainy night,
Hope in her eyes shone again, the archetype
Of a hero long sought, from ashes reborn,
Cuddled in your arms, her Phoenix hair long,
Locks falling on your sincere face as the drops poured
But the shadow of that memory is obscured
By the damage you dealt, she's now the ghost,
Lost  alien on unwelcoming Earth, her soul's covered by frost.

You battled like dragons, but still loved more,
A circle of fire in passion rose higher than
Whole suns dying away, breaking worlds
With your words now, changed the plots
Of a fairy tale in a rush, from hero to villain
Tried to hush, hide and escape from the oath
Sworn back then in full faith, gave her up
Left her in a burning hell alone to walk.

The ending of the story's still unwritten
The author's in slumber as the writer's health withers
Like a flower forgotten to tend to and water,
While her mind's still entangled in a dance of matter
And energy that's burning low, as breathing alone
Won't suffice, Morpheus now leads her dreams unbeknown
To counter a mortal flaw, Pandora's hope, and your ego,
Your mission - you claim they're higher than her life
You chose duty over all, she was merely a placebo.

Dear darling, be happy now, wear your tuxedo
Enjoy the victory won and the peace inside violence
Admit her murder can be traced on your hands
But mistake not the time while she rests in idleness
For behind the gentle face you saw, there laid a warrior
Transmigrated soon with a force of a birthing sun hardened by horror,
Bloodshed, you pressed the knife in her heart with contempt
No second thoughts, no remorse, but will you have the courage,
 Love?
To meet her gaze, stand tall in front of an enraged
Dragon of the Old?
Tell me would you run frightened again,
Mortal, cower behind the shield of humanity's bane
Afraid to hold in your arms what you turned into pure pain?

În culori - 27.04.2020

Din fusul prafului de stele ai țesut cu mâna ta
Roze, maci, flori pe câmpul verii, Aurora,
Așa cum viața și destinul meu l-ai împletit în jurul
Ființei tale, în indivizibilitate mi-ai prins duhul
De al tău și l-ai legat, cu sfoara nemuririi
Și ai lăsat căldura soarelui în ochii tăi, și îngerii
Îți cântă-n glas când îmi grăiești, rațiunea firii
Se pierde din minte și egoul meu moare în frânghii
Înnodate în mundan, spirit veșnic, m-ai îmbrăcat în calm
Cu mâinile tale cuprinse în jurul meu, în astral
Te caut în stele când nu te găsesc, oare ... pentru tine am fost întotdeauna zeu?
Forță nevăzută, spre tine am tins mereu
Călăuzit de soare, la orizont te întâlnesc
Și sper că prin energie divină simți cum te prețuiesc
În atingere de vânt, ploii îi mulțumesc
Și tunetului că-mi spune ceea ce tu mi-ai arătat
„Te iubesc”. Natura primă din veșnicie te-a sculptat
Și m-a adus la tine, bucurie, prin dorința primordială,
Din dorul care a născut universul și te-a adus la scara umană
Așa cum te-am cunoscut, nebun să fi fost să te fi pierdut,
Și alinarea din brațele tale calde ca inima stelelor.
Asemeni helixului ADN amândoi vom rescrie constelațiile cerurilor,
Împreună, prin vid și prin materie, nedespărțiți de unde,
În poezie te-ntâlnesc acum când lumea se năruie
Și negrul nopții împrejur adie, te revăd la mal, Lumină Aurie.
Solaris, am învățat că veacurile într-o clipă dispar
Lângă tine, iar munții la picioarele tale tresar
Și valurile dansează pe ritmul respirației tale,
Căci nici scăpare nu au, Lună, când le porunecești, mortale
Sunt gândurile și răutatea ce-mi vin din ignoranță,
Adoptată-n neștiință, alungă-le cu a ta eleganță,
Așa cum distrugi și recreezi o lume din maya, din vis
Prin artă veșnic-ți voi fi alături, așa cum ți-am promis.


Disclaimer: Thanks Buddy for the picture!

Spre Nord înainte 17.04.2020

Polaris, călăuză din ceruri albastre întunecate te numesc
Să mă ghidezi în vremuri calde, vremuri reci, pe mări pe oceane
Să îndrepți catargul meu către regine și regi din povești amare
Stea a nordului, coboară și întrupează-te o clipă
Și alungă dorul ce ne leagă pe amândoi de arborele vieții în pripă
Eu te voi aștepta la provă, visând cu valurile odată
Te rog adună-ți strălucirea și zboară ca odinioară
Printre nori, pe seară la apus, departe de lună și soare
Prinde-mă de mână și sărută-mă între tâmple, iubitoare
De stele și adâncuri străvezii, cuprinde-mă în strâmtoarea
Brațelor tale calzi, pielii tale rupte din prafuri stelare.

De dor ard în vulnerabilitate, Polaris dă-mi doar un gram din spiritualitate
Și-al tău voi fi urmaș în eternitate,
Femeie cu buze gingașe scoate-mă din efemeritate,
Iar glasu-ți călăuză-mi este în vremuri deșarte, în mijloc de noapte
Transformă-mi visele cu lumina ce dimineața-mi deschide ploapele.

Coboară Polaris, cuprinde-mă și eu îți voi scrie șoaptele
În stâncile pe malurile mărilor, în munții ce se închină zărilor,
Zână de departe, îți voi cânta din liră ca îngerii rănilor,
Așa cum lupii îți cheamă spiritul văilor, redă-mi inspirație
Muză, căci în abisul meu negru acum ești călăuză cu grație
Divină, eternă vibrație senină ce-alină suflul în halucinație
La tine mă întorc iar, cu ochii umezi și speranțele mele
Lăcaș ți-ai făcut, Stea, în celulele și sângele ce-mi hrănește arterele.

Mad Ness - 11.04.2020

Let go of it, let go of despair singing raven
Haven’t you tired of the lingering pain?
Silent weeping ghost in the corner of my mind,
Do you still need in the times of peril a friend?
Unnamed specter come my way, we`ll dance in the shadows
Welcomed visitor, embrace the warmth of my skin and sway
Together with me, we`ll turn strangers gay with happiness
When our sanity is slipping away, mend our broken hearts with madness
And fill with dreams in the chaos of the night our hollowed chests.
Eyes like green meteors falling rapidly to Earth, take my hand
We`ll run the forest tracks, get lost in the evergreens and rest
By the sea, listen to the secrets divulged by the waves.

Leave the lights on while the madness beats fast
Sweeps me off my feet, by the memories harassed
“As long as I am here, no one can hurt you” says the voice
The ghost in the shell of my flesh no longer noticed
The way it saw herself, “pull yourself together” screams,
As long as we’re honest no one gets hurt to extremes
Until the dreams into nightmares they shift, I miss
A tranquil sleep, but the rain weeps and the thunder cries
In dialogue with my song, they say I lure them all to the sky
I sail with them together on the ties of the intangible reality,
Though not all are wise to make it till the end, stopping at “would’ve been”,
Their loss, chances missed, the boat has long sailed to the promised reverie
Here once again, taking the fall for both, succumbing from mania to memory.

Demonic Writer - 11.04.2020

I have often wondered if I am a writer run by the demons
Of my past, or the djins of the lamps lighted in the midnight
By the sleep-deprived, lost souls searching their peace,
Their answers in a bundle, kept awake by sins and a bleak future glimpsed.

Am I only human? star sign Gemini, green eyes
Red-haired, mouth corners up, merry-go-round,
Only to be stolen from the sky, incarnated on the ground
Fighting a deceiving game with only one life
In inventory and no ally from the start.

Took the pen as a sword, turned the writing into fight
Praised be the plume and the ink, fate a double-edged knife,
Learned my lessons, did the time, cut the cords when they burned
Way too much, but their ghosts still have rooms in my heart.
Learned defensive, keeping the voices low, turned the sea`s volume up
Learned to move with the waves, drawn to the moon in the night,
Got to ace the game, but remembered the illusions of life
Turned ashes into beauty, memories tucked away in the endless volume
Of the soul, unshaken by the winds of winter to the cosmos I bow,
 Still I bleed sorrow into ink with the divine plume.

Paralyzed sometimes, numbed, watching everything on fast-forward
Searching the reality behind, I pause and the more I write, cornered
I become, building mountain-high walls, ice frost over, now climb
Reader, climb onward if so wished, I`ll teach you how I rhyme
And we`ll dance to the rhythm of the night, together up-high
Bathed in the blood of our hearts, up alone in the sky
Unmoved, unbowed, never-to-broken again, brave samurai.


I will help you see through the dark, cut the gray clouds,
Erase the fog from the heavy thoughts of your mind,
Lend you my light and hold your hand in times of strife,
But the price has to be paid, reason before you dive-in blind.

And when the hurricane hits, I`ll pull you close to calm your heartbeat,
Tucked away, we`ll take cover under the blanket of the starry blanket sheet
And I`ll teach you how to write, and find your inner fire
Light up more candles on our way back to the sun my dear liar.

Play with Fire - 11.04.2020

If it was heaven I saw in your pleading eyes
Where are now the angels, promised with lies,
Of “always and forever I`ll stand by your side”?
Rather it was the demons under your skin
Who searched and found a home for all this time in me,
But the clock ticked and you already knew,
That your promises vanished like the morning dew
Warmed by the cold rays from the grim skies,
Mind left alone to wander among cruel crimes.
The brain chimes, never shuts, always strikes
The more used to the pain, the more I hide
For you`ll never hurt me again, not once in your life
Your expectations now revealed concealed intentions,
I tried, for all that I could, ease the sorrow, payed attention
To your wounds and the fear under your skin,
But when the lights go out, monster and hunter both
I`ll be coming for you, for the trust you broke.
Pushed to the edge by all the rage, the tears dried,
The secrets I buried within walls to ghosts they still talk
If you shoot, shoot to kill me for good
Don’t stay with me just for the thrill when you`re in the mood
For I`ll be hunting your soul and your will after death still.

Radio - 21.03.2020

By the power of its hearth, the sun doth moves
Stars still burn, left alone in gravity's cues
Light years distance from planes of existence
Too weak to handle reality's grievance.

Folded within darkness Algol does still spin
Glimmering beams of hope, ghosts now deceive.
Stay away from the fire that burned,
Stop hurting the life that was born
Amid blood, t`was raped, a bloom
Shattered innocence, childhood in gloom
Stolen, deprived of purity,
Let go of life now, soldier of a diamond rarity.

Stay away now with all promises broken
She's awaiting the death that awoketh
Transcendence in space, into the dark matter
That held captive her mind and molded
Dreams into nightmares, she stopped fighting.
Stay away now, her cure's but the lightning -
- A stroke during midnight, eternal bliss
Will unfold when everything's done, amiss
The hurricane that came, take your vows,
Let her heart rest amidst the wolves that to her now howl.

Yennefer

Soul's anchored to the sun
Mind channeling the moon
She moves in waves, tornadoes
Lifts walls of light and darkness in her sleep
Shy away not from her speech, monsoon in drought,
Do not allow petty egos to instill doubt,
To tear down dreams amiss the night.

Fear not their screams for they know no better,
Incoming streams of tears wash them in the wind,
Of chaos make a boat to order thine own sting
And order make of death and life in a string
Perpetual helix, cycle of the world
Stars do die down, but their dust is never lost
Is transformed, to their own undoing
Eating universes or creating new
Bodies of mass, nebulae in vortex
She's yet again drifting, drowning
Heart caught in a metal fortress.

Resurrection - 3 Mar 2020

Five days in a week make a living
Out of it and then depart, take a break
Detach, reassess and mend what is broken
Let's say every thing is done, for better for worse
Five chances won, five lessons learnt, five
Months to hold another situation, bold, vibration
On the frequency of joy, perpetual bliss
Is illusion, but do not avoid all the grief
That comes with the package, and don't fail
To achieve your dreams, throw the garbage
As soon as it leaks, out of your eyes tears
Drain, drought brought by the absence of rain
Of heavenly waters, divine incarnations in slumber,
Once we forget to perceive our souls, and compassion
Drives sorrow on the river of Styx, call forth Ibliss
Or Azrael if you'd like, djinn chiefs, demon lords
Or angels despised, their fiery wings burning halos to glow
In the dark, for us, during the nights, smell the fragrance of snow,
The silence of creation in snowdrops, autumn constantly falls
Leaves out of evergreen trees in rainbows of color
Synesthesia I miss and I turn again to wallow
And follow the thread of the cosmos in debt
To the story of gods reborn, dead and resurrected in spring
I cry not for the loss, but for the chances I miss.

Panic at the disco - 3 Mar 2020

Ground is shaking under our mortal legs
It's cracking, it's tearing apart, saves grace
The last resort that some hold on to, death
Liberates when only struggle is employed to part
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind divide
Hell from the allusive heaven, all devils are here
The phantoms scream "let them", long tendrils
Chaining down to the wall, on the chair, in the cage
Eyes ask for help, shout for salvation, but the voice denotes rage.

Reflections in the mirror, broken glass, shattered windows
Held out their hands, pass into a parallel universe,
Down we go spinning, hanging low, disappear wordless now
There's nothing nowhere, despair and acceptance bow
To hope and a lost smile, the dove flew away
With happiness in a bottle tied. 

Gravity - 19 Feb 2020

In a galaxy far far away
There was a star, wandering heat
Mass of atoms of hydrogen-helium peeked
Through the gaps in the field
Of forces, roses of nebulae in need
Of creation able, cycle of destruction both,
Consciousness tied with the knot
Of primal energy, a soul, cosmic
Matter dissipated on a shore
In the black vast horizon, we bore
The system inherent in patterns
Mere reflections mirrored in the same waters.

A life-giving creed, and so we bleed
And so we bleed our most humane need
For peace, for joy, and lovely bliss
Hear my voice, follow my steps, fear not the risk
For the unknown, we reap what we sow
Even so, a question answer as a last blow
How would it feel, that lonely star
Apart from clusters, galaxies all
Floating in space, no cosmic body to embrace
No planets gravitating toward,
No binary system to hold?

Awakening - 26 Feb 2020

You woke the sunrise with your dance so gentle,
Like western winds, zephyrs, the breeze that settles
A soul at pain when the energy's drained
By the thousand drops that sigh out of rain.
The sky is breathing so you hear it thunder
Love, you play with lightning leaving me asunder
To fight all my battles, alone like a warrior
With Twin blades forged in a hell full of horrors.

Nightmares crawl up again, chase away the sleep
Longed for with a hope for bliss, yet once more I weep
I reap and I creep back up into them and sweep monsters away,
Guided by the inner light the faith in the self leaked
Out of every breath, every gaze I defeat with a shield
Of a maiden too weak to stand ages ago, but the ego
Brought her back on her feet, and now striving
To receive what it seeks out of this mortal coil, gliding
Through life's moments of sadness and joy
But the soul shall prevail no matter the feat
For ever more high it is, this humble bee
Giving one more chance, one more in deed
For duty in death ends solely, and the duty is me.