Ciornă - 6.Jan.2020

Mai ține-o puțin, ține în tine
Ideea până soarele răsare
Căci steaua în curand va apune.

Nu mai poți să fugi, să te ascunzi de tine
Vei fi acolo unde ating munții cerul,
Unde stelele prin negrul intins de timp
Sclipesc aproape de nori.

Și o găsești acolo, zâmbind jucându-se în non-culori,
Dimineața în aburi calzi de Gibraltar, sau
Pe fundul mării unde razele ating nisipul împietrit de ani,
În umbra celor zori, pe mal pictați,
În coroana lunii printre norii violeți de seară,
Între pernele ce lasă visul să despartă ziua de noapte.

Acum este scris, versul nu-l întorci
Perfect nici pe departe, dar măcar nu mai toci
Pe dos ițele minții în cuvinte răstălmăcite
Și numai țipă în sunet mut egoul din minte.

Mai lasă doar un gând acum să danseze în fum
De mere, struguri, mentă, și apoi încearcă iar,
Scrie! Pe hârtie virtuală, existența temporală
Și lasă materia cenușie să cunoscă doar o clipă
Pierdută deja, până când sufletul de trup se va elibera
Până când îți vei da seama că ești singura care te poate salva.

Shakespeare's return in madness -25. Jan. 2020

Did I write before of how I miss thee,
Of how I long for your smile's glee,
Sweet as a summer breeze on the cold blue waves,
Fresh as a green apple bitten with haste?

Did I spoke of how blood replies to blood,
Of the dialogue of systoles in a warm embrace,
Of how I hear the heart pumping outside
Trillions of atoms running, toward you to hide?
When the words, like bees, swarm of a mind
Troubled with fears, anxieties, frights
It's that diastole, feeding my veins,
All organs, alive, nourish evil away.

And through all storms and roses, I tell you again
Of happiness, of joy, and Satan's tears fade
When in a moment, a gesture, a gaze I lose
The borders where you and I begin, so I choose
No time, no space or bind to keep you away
A farewell now in waiting with night - muse's plea.

Între două astre - la lună plină

De la răsărit la lună, apusul între noi
Păsări negre călătoare desupra florilor din nori,
Se simte în aer, printre stele în vântul rece care adie
În surâsul cu viteza luminii ce învie visul din memorie
E real, e aici , e viața ce emană din tine
Și dorul dcare demult a încătușat în colivie
Sufletul care râvnea unire, atingere plină
Din praf de stele aum se simte pretutindeni și alină
Rațiunea din conflicte interioare, din spirale
De ADN și din realitatea care somnul ți-l fură,
Din momentele din plină zi, întoarce calmul din negură.

Prin venele în care curge sângele de acum
Lasă-ți dorința să fugă și să exprime, îți curm
Durerea din mentalul infinit de gânduri gri
Și nesiguranța piere atunci când zâmbești și știi,
Cum fericirea o cunoști din ochi și din focuri vii
Oglindind din suflet și revii în planul astral
De sincronicități aduse la mal, reînvii pasiunea din soare
Ce încălzește pietrele înghețate și din mare
Cuprinzi cu valuri de culoare raze dulci
În sinestezie, pacea să vie din tine când aduci
Tot cosmosul în picioare fără să fugi de tine.
Rămâi lin și menține toată energia din dansul
Dintre luna plină și soarele cald din albastru
Conducând astfel realitatea și visul împreună,
Îmbrățișate pe veci în tine să rămână. 

Ragnarok - 24. Jan. 2020

Close your eyes for I'm the black you see the stars sewn upon,
The blinding light that the sun doth shines upon,
Your skin and steals a tear, thus you hide
In shadows from the clarity of warmth, aside
From everything you felt, once more denied
Invisible shields collide and sparks ignite
The fuel in the nitro heart that cries out
As a supernova dies out into a black hole now,
Succumbs to mass, attracts everything but repulsed
From every word, breath and sight that tries
One more solution to disguise, pride swallowed
I might as well expand into star dust, hollowed
In your eyes from inside out, a core birthing other suns,
Other stars, other worlds, exoplanets I must
Fight it out, draw the twin blades and strike,
Egoes and minds, harakiri into diamonds I shatter despite
The voices, muffled are crying out loud
For my destruction to end, return mortal into the world
And forget the metal engine at the heartspring's center
Thus once again I mold the dust and blood, I'm a bender
Of fire and ice alike, it's not air I need but a hand
From the ghost I used to walk with, pull me out of the wave hit
And save what's left of it to have, for this space-time to enjoy or despise
Electric shocks down my spine, like Frankie's I'm alive
And Galatea's rival, for Pygmalion chose me this time
And all gods now bent down, stripped of their rhyme.

Star wars in a dance - 17. Jan. 2020

Her walk was slow and steady like the birth of a star
But doubt not that when angered she'd run like a quasar
No matter what sun or colors full brought by a day
No matter the joy around, a hurricane she'd dare
To fight her inner core, but her Gemini growls.
Smiling lovely girl back in her cage, until it howls
It's safe to come out, darker self in arms wearing fire,
Covered her body all, dare not to get close or higher
Up above clouds where her divinity rests,
You wonder why her when worlds crumble and hope fails.

On your knees, bent, awaiting for return
Eternal hope laced with despair, auburn
Hair falls waterfalls in long silky locks
Forests of green eyes tear up and floods
Continents of thoughts, oceans of feelings,
Lay down all your weapons, surrender, there's no way
Of making the past cumbersome and anxieties frail.

But lose faith not, for lips in conversation long
To taste the nectar of the gods again in strong
Winds, and dance in the fight of the stars
They're getting closer, we are getting far
Embraced in truth, in paradoxes' sleep
Forever dancing as to our happiness they weep
With joy, and try to rep but a fragment of her light
Doubt that the waves doth move, but never doubt her might.

Starship - 23.12.2019

We're the captain of our ship
An astral plane you dive in deep
Care for it, and let its sails flow
Through the stellar dust it sows
What you reap, but don't give up - 
Weep if you must, but don't you quit -
Rest if you have to, but keep the flame lit
To further power the engines and seek
What you lost on your birth, eternal peace,
Quietude and bliss, dream on darling!
Still, kill the nightmares that are crawling
Subconsciously in the diamond mind
But wake up soon, you have to fight!
Remember why you started,
And find help if you need to...
Starless in the night you dive into,
Reach out your hand until it's air
That your lungs fills yet again,
Endlessly you keep turning into the void ...
Run out of there fool! and bend
Space-time if you must,
Like a phoenix rise from dust
To fire and dissolve all that is dire
To your soul and command all life
To your will to bend and become light.

Isn'it it? 23.12.2019

The quieter you become, the more you're hearing
As you drift apart, more words are screaming
Until claws on a blackboard are screeching
Diving deeper into an ocean of thinking
Thoughts that would not be there
Scenarios taking you elsewhere.

The less you feel yourself, the less your ego talks
The more you feel unloved, the more this life stalls
And alone into the unknown you step, detachment
From earthly strings, unbent sailing away
Into the night toward the starry highway
You sway with nitrogen, helium and carbon
Pass Hydrogen and further nebulae surround you
Until the greatest Gravity you meet on end
Beyond the event horizon where all sorrows mend.

Jumătate de stea - 21.12.2019

Îți mai trebuia jumătate de stea,
Timp să parcurgi să-i atingi inima.
Un veac într-o clipă ai să simți în ea,
Din eternitate te-ai înfrupta
Și-ai să-nțelegi de ce ți-a schimbat lumea.
De ce totu-i la superlativ și de ce luna
E mai frumoasă noaptea decât ziua,
Când întunericul veșminte face,
Când zgomotul din jur o privește și tace,
Când lumina din soare în sfârșit îți dă pace.
Carpe Diem mereu și ai să vezi steaua ce trage
Înspre cer să te ridice atunci când durerea zace
În tine, atunci când ochii ei îți dau energie,
Lină și căldura de care toți se simt atrași
Ca planetele-n orbită de soare, și să nu lași
Extazul în pace, mergi mai departe
Divinitatea tot înăuntrul tău șade. 

Sandglass 21.12.2019

What is a cosmos without dust?
What is a life ruled by rust?
Interstellar we go breaking the chains
Of time, let immortality run through our veins,
Space-bound, flesh-bound in this prison...
Let then earthly matter and divine energy fission,
Let freedom surround us all over,
Eternity glimpsed in those eyes when I'm colder
And then like the sun, warm me again,
Melt all primal sorrow within
Make all particles in this universe spin
Until our atoms vibrate in a beautiful rhythm. 

Noise - 18.12.2019

Do you hear me? in the mid of the night
Do you hear me? the cold and the fright...
Cuffing all bones, numb neurons in the light
Of the stars and the distant moonshine.

Do you hear me? I'm falling asleep
I swore that from now, no flower shall weep
But only rejoice, silence the noise of the talk,
Of meaningless worlds that fade, when around
We're surrounded by joy and understanding
When we can stop pretending, and start dancing
Spinning together aligned with the center of the galaxy
To the rhythm of the stars, the energy abounds
And in our eyes reflected long-sought divinity.

Serendipity in a smile, laughter and mind
For in the heart and our souls we see the divine
Nature that we forgot of, do you hear me now?
Look inside and awaken to the sound of our breath
Intertwined with matter and energy both in a bundle,
It's what we were meant to become, a whole brought from reverie.

No - 17.12.2019

Dream a little,
Dream of me.
Moon of madness,
Shoot and kill.
Try your hand
Or you may miss
Another heart
Another one
Another shut,
Hit the drum
Swallow rum
It's angry now
Gone's the calm.

But it's alright
It will be better...
You're bonkers, nut
Go back to slumber.
Until peace finds you again,
Until you learn to live with pain,
Until the sun breaks down in half,
Until the rain pours down moon dust.

It's angry now,
Smile's upside down.
Go home, you're drunk!
You don't listen, I shout
You gave up, I drown
In the sunset that's over,
Come, breaking down!

Ride a wave on your inhaling - 10.12.2019

Breathe, breathe into me to calm down the storms
Breathe out of pain and raise the light, opened souls
By the tears that wouldn't pour out, by the smiles
We shared, touched by the rays of a thousand suns
When cold the world was, and reality frozen around
When the weight of acceptance wouldn't care to stop
For a moment, and let a light moment slip,
But it was drawn out of the darkest debris
Of all that surrounds us, expectations and norms
When life gets too heavy for our bare arms to hold.

So breathe, life into me and draw the pain away
Breathe all that is sorrow, let only lessons stay
And I`ll allow the frequencies to empower the way
For a better now, a glimpse beyond mere words
Inhale all that is peaceful, and divine hopes
That go beyond faith, for it's the moment I`ll show
How to let go of the ego and return to the soul
Breathing as one, inhaling the primal cosmic balm
In the frequencies of the present now
And you`ll feel how the universe's sound,
OM, vibrates through your body whole
As the wolves in the night to their moon they howl.

Period. - 4.12.2019

Blood,
Red flood,
Electric currents in my kidneys and spine,
Everything it touches, it`s pain when I walk
When all red rivers travel up their banks and part.
It drips cold between the thighs
First time, it gets thicker as its size
Coils in small velvet snakes
It doesn`t flow, it lands... ablaze
Inside, the pain`s burning in a haze, and a hammer
Hits me thousand strikes, while curled up
On the floor, not warmer only wet
It makes me sick, nauseous, I regret
Wishing for it to hasten, but now
I`m yet fighting it alone, dizzy, in a vertigo mind-flow
No clear words, no clear paths
Three days in a row, then the pain subsides.
Plastic`s thrown away, and muddy waters
Flush and sway, a bath of colors, blood`s gone but remains
Of pink stains still go round for days,
Patiently waiting the end to strike
Be done with mood swings, euphoria and fright
Be done with red pools, dead pools and smite
Everything that annoys me, be done with fainting
When no one`s around
Black-outs and shivers from hell to winter nights,
It's still this blood, that tells me I`m still alive
Physiologically functioning according to DNA`s helix,
This blood that pours down in water, blood baths in matrix
Until all`s cleared out, safe paths to the cervix.

Hermeneutică - 1.12.2019

Să lași ploaia să te ude, consume
În furtuni de vară, să dansezi
Când cad franghii calde, să te vezi
Precum fotonul prin prismă, să abunde
Lumina din tine, cu ea să te-ncălzești
O viață, mai departe să zbori, s-o găsești
Într-o floare, pe petale sărutate în somn de soare
S-o găsești, în ziua de luni, în nori
Gri fumurii, prăpăstioși, pe nisip
Să o simți în tălpile tale, căci din nimic
Apă s-a făcut, și să înoți în ocean,
Să te simți ca acasă în valuri calde, îmbrățișează
Marea și-ți reamintește-ți de cosmosul pământean
Când râdeam, dar privește înainte
Lasă-ți focul cosmic prin vene să curgă
Și mai departe să lupți, dar să-ți aduci aminte
De universul tău
Și să nu uiți c-avem același muritor eu.

Wholes - 19.11.2019

It took the death of hope to let go,
Get through the day, renouncing her ego
But thoughts would not stop lingering
And she drank again quietly, tearing
Yet another part of the blood-pumping muscle
To keep him whole, help him through the hustle.

Traced all constellations with her fingers
On his body, warmed him, and read
With her hands all stories, bringers
Of hell and heaven both, and knead
A home in her self for him, linger
Forever and a night more, for she tore
Pieces of time so he`d be whole.
Midnight rainbows she`d show if he dared
To let her sail him further on stellar paths,
Just hold her hand and in her eyes stare,
Overdose from a touch, a gaze, the parts..
Of her neck, soft as the silk woven in summer.
Bring the heat, embrace her, realities shift asunder

But pain drips cold drops of acid,
And suddenly he switched, assassin!
Never knowing the weight of thinking,
How happiness may leave while blinking
In a flash of a second, perspectives change
And the dreamt future dissipates in a blaze.

Full moon - 12.11.2019

It filled itself, more brighter still
Amid the shadows, above the hill
We used to run on, now`s just cold
The summer ended by winter's hold.

It looms above, serene and distant
Arms of mist holding an infant,
Young cosmic child of cosmos,
Reminiscent of karmic pathos.

Innocent and pure she's been
Until the rape stole all her will
For moral duty, and a monster
Has been born again, an impostor
Instead of this pretty shell you wonder
At, and fail to see the slaughter
Left behind, a trail of tears
Blood, pain, and fears
Instead of hope and joy,
Were only doubts instead of toys.

But now she's older, more mature
Counting the nights, searching a cure
To heal the wounds still festering
Throughout the years with lettering
On papers, in mind, in the wind thrown out,
Sometimes swallowed by the sea, she shouts
But nobody listens, only the mouths
That know the serpent tongue will steal
An arm and a leg, but the wheel
Will turn again endlessly,
So now she`ll retreat selflessly
To sleep once more peacefully,
To nothingness returned,
The flames inside had burned.

Mukti - 21.10.2019

We're never here, never there
The pages of wisdom were burnt today
The rhythms flow, the waves still dance
We're nothing but the unwilling slaves
Of our past selves, phantom egoes
Driving all these mortal coils,
Dreaming life with joy
And sorrow
Rising from the promised land
There's sadness in the air
Sadness born of doubt.

I dreamed you dreamed about me.
We're all illusions in the end
Until we break the karmic fate,
Until from ignorance we part,
The dharmic duty done with art,
Then long-awaited liberation
Out of knowledge thus arose,
No joy, nor pleasure anymore
No further future incarnation
To wish for any treasure.
But only detachment and willingness
To return to our true nature and state
To speak the truth and then break
The painful circle of Samsara
Into the billion starred silence.
I`ll give up, Your Highness!
I wanted a daughter, Sara
But why let souls suffer?
To bear the folly of this world...
To prepare them for the battle
Make them ready for the war
Within themselves, with good and evil.
Dear, that's not a life to lead
Unless it's blood you want to spill.

I`ll sail away now on these last lines
With loving eyes,
Riddled I leave you, a shifting tide
Take as my mind, don't hold my death as your bride
Take reason as your guide, and understand the game of life.

In the eyes of the night - 20.10.2019

"Hello my dear, it`s been a while"
She tried to run and hide but near
You she found her thoughts again, she feared
She`ll lose herself, a star without a sky
In the night washed by the agony
You shared not long ago, but harmony
And peace you sought within her, no lies
A forest without trees beneath the moon`s eyes
No predator, nor pray in sight, "just us"
Forgetting the bitter dream
Anger's dripping from their voice like a star's scream...
Still you did held on, move on, toward better suns
Cold fingers and shivers intertwined with hers
Longing now, she thought of your star blushing
When it felt the love you born, blood rushing
With your gaze on her bare shoulders
And hushing, the stars that you deny, ashamed
Who`s to blame? "It's only in the mind",
Scared and vulnerable she tried
To undo the fortress' walls so you could have a peek
Inside a soul too weak, to show you all the pain
Apart from the mundane, with demons dancing inside
"Comfortable, see?"
Now would you run, or forget she ever was
If you knew where all the evil within lies?
Or would you stay, and hold her close,
Let all sorrow run its course?
Or change her fate for the worst...

And now the stars too, long for the atoms you stole
It must have been the same aster, a whole
World ahead with billion chances, but you've met
Her on domestic soil, and traveled to netherworlds
In dreams, unconscious desires set free again
She pleads the night with its thousand eyes
To let the day have one, and warm you despise
The winter that's coming harsh across,
For the mind has a thousand more thoughts,
And the heart is but done, cracking, still beating
Still waiting, still weaving...
It's the endless silence that's screaming
And only stops when you're hers and she feels it.

Better - 14.10.2019

I`m sorry for the malice, I had to let it flow
Or else it would consume and bury me low.
It was the only way I could let the poison out
Instead of crawling the walls, and I couldn`t shout
Out loud, how all this life is miserable sometimes,
How nothing makes sense and everything`s chaos.

I`m grateful though for lending an ear
For going all out, locked in memory near
The lightest, warmest rooms in the mazing mind
And every soft word spoken to me, ever so kind.

It's autumn now, sweet colored October
Birthday month, we could get lost in slumber
And sleep the blissful sleep that I so long for,
Until winter takes over, and my body`ll be colder.

I hope we`re alright, I hope you feel better
If life takes you further, or your will for the matter,
Whatever harsh wind may steal you away,
You can always come back, you`re welcome to stay.

I`ll start a bonfire with the stars in ourselves
So we can enjoy a good talk by the waves,
Together embraced, on soft sands and linger
A little while longer, to gather our strength for the meaner
Grim reality that may strike us again,
And ground our roots in the soil, feel the rain
Pouring like blessings, soft whispers of the sky,
With the lightning that comes I`ll ask again "why?"
Until no longer I doubt the reasons and start
Over again, but without falling apart.

I`ll write though, in rivers of ink, and fight
Like a martial arts master all incoming strife,
Watch then the unworthy fly like a runaway kite
For we're warriors before mere actors in life.

Madness - 12.10.2019

She held your hands so close, yet unattainable
You were each moment, second, eon
She held you in silence between
The shadow and the soul
With words inadequate to speak
Stubbornly, you grew more cold
Till nothing left remained to save
From a cluttered mind with thoughts.
Ignorant creature, ever so bold
To think that everything that shines is gold.

Whilst she leaves, you watch her go
Gaze at her spin, you clung to the ego
For more than a thousand stars she's worth!
Jealous you`ll be for tight clothes, touching her soft
Body, and all the glasses she drinks from,
For the rosy red lips, a kiss... taste venom
And it may fill your rivers, your baths with blood
And one last glimpse before whatever may come.
A hurricane to hold you tight
On your most lonesome nights ...
She`s diamonds glued together, prepare for all the cuts,
And the never kept promises, on your flesh she`ll write
So you finally remember, or forget about it all,
Dumb, alone, and terrified, keep clinging to your ignorance
For the only ahead for you is mental hospitals.

Ce? - 04.10.2019

A fost totul ca-n povești
Scrise în inconștient prin vise,
S-au tot pictat dorințe, încă nestinse
De furtunile de dinainte, învinse
De zâmbete, căldura și de felul cum priveai
Clădirile în piatră, fermecat de scări exterioare
Ducând spre suflete nemuritoare,
Făurite demult în stelele care
Din praf de nebuloasă s-au născut
Și te-au împins apoi spre mine
Și m-ai adus la tine, m-ai ținut
Petrecut în illo tempore neștiut
De nimeni, doar simțind energie
Plutind pe nori, rezemată de tine
În cătușe te-am prins, mai rămâi
Nu scăpa, mai dă-mi emoție
O secundă, un veac, ieși din imaginație
Și eliberează-mă de mine,
Iubindu-mă înapoi la viață
Și învață-mă cum să mă fac zeiță
Să dominăm tot ce la călcâie șade
Și să te aleg din panteonul ce perpetuu cade
Zdrobind cu fulgere lumi moarte, planete deșarte
Vor redobândi oxigenul cu care
Ai învățat-o din nou să-l respire
Și mai departe să zboare.

Dissociation - 24. 09. 2019

My battery's low and it's getting dark
Tender was the time when we soared above clouds in the sky
Whether reality or dream everything might
Take a wrong turn now for life can be frightful.
No commitments no more, none ever asked,
The truth and your lies form a storm, delightful
Archangel of wars you slayed minds from dawn till dusk
And fire and ice then slowly danced leaving traces of musk.

So I tried to refrain, or hell would have broken
A new heaven to bear, all stars released
Through the warm feathers, but bliss dawned
In the heart of darkness, and I left and I missed
And still longing I'm numb now and I fail to desist.

My battery's low now and it's getting dark
No fate in sight whatsoever, hope`s left behind, we`re bound
To attachment and pain both in a bundle,
Wrapped with a red rope around our neck,
Slowly strangling the cord, shortened breath
Until  no ashes remain, only stellar carbon and hydrogen
Linger as proof that we`re only a moment,
A consciousness fleeting, purposeless, I'm smoking
Giving up every atonement for one more opponent
To slay as a last act before I lose and drown
In liquid diamonds to die down.

Complementary forces - 06.09.2019

*Disclaimer: Poem written in collaboration with Dennis to whom the first part belongs :)

A twisted mind that fills a hollow soul with poison
Diseased love that starves an anorexic heart
A rotten shell of a body that only wants closure
I was ending even before the start.
I beg death to come and kiss my frozen bleeding lips
But she won't listen, and leaves me in this hell
Every day to fall and crash deeper in my own abyss
I'm broken like a clock that has no time to tell.

But clocks go backward and time is just a concept
Invented by our brain to have life in a context.
The plain abyss looming gray upon us as a shell
Is but illusion, lies, and a highway to the hell
That you so stubborn cling upon, and death
An idea that lures all lost in pain, take a breath
And start over again, forget the body prison,
Let the ghost in the shell drive the flesh with wisdom
And let the crimson color of our blood paint
With shades of hope all life, nobody's a saint.
Power to heal the mind we all share, so wake
The atoms of the stars inside of us
And shine for all with eyes to see
As the lighthouse for sailors in love with the sea.